Here is what I love about tinder, its totally for me. I can’t function in a normal situation anymore I love Tinder so much. I try to swipe people away in real life. “Like go left, go away from me. I don’t like you” I feel like I am swiping them from existence. Here is what I hate bout Tinder: the flakes. How can we textually harass each other for a week, exchange an alarming number of pics and discuss everything from diet plans to politics to dealing with flakes and then … make a plan for lunch and even confirm it the before and then… Nothing. No call, no text, no show. I am adorable. I deserve not to be ghosted. But then again, it is Tinder.
I want to learn how to deal cards, because as I was arm candy to this old rich trash bag for a measly $200 last night; the girl dealing the cards at this private poker game was making easily $500. I am in the wrong business.
This is very important, I have so many things that I need to get done. And with my upcoming birthday (September 19th) I need to get this all down:
- I want to learn Spanish so that I can more accurately converse with people.
- I want to learn how to deal cards, because as I was arm candy to this old rich trash bag for a measly $200 last night; the girl dealing the cards at this private poker game was making easily $500. I am in the wrong business.
- Finish my Bachelor’s
- I want to buy a house
- I want to go to law school
- I will see my son graduate from college
- I want make out with a trans girl, preferably a cam girl like Katy Perry on top and a huge schlong on the bottom
- I want to graduate with a 4.0 in my undergrad.
- I want to make $100k from my investment in bitcoin.
- I want to learn how to code.
- I want to get a vampire facial
- I want a boyfriend but not a husband because I really would like someone to hold, and cuddle-fuck for the winter but summer is Tinder season sooo….
- I want to start a nonprofit for recovered drug addicts
- Ideally, I find some efficient way to help as many people as possible before I die.
- I want my son to be happy.
- I think that if there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as a cat. I can really see myself just lounging around in inconvenient spaces and waiting to be fed and pet. Although, depending on how long I live, this may be an accurate description of my last few years.
- I still don’t know all of my times tables, I would like to learn that.
- I’d like to spend a year working for the ACLU
- I’d like to have an all female, mostly black law firm doing civil and personal injury law. I just love the vision of walking into negotiations and using all that propagated fear of black women for good.